I have a planning conference call next week scheduled for after bedtime and I suspect here’s how it’ll go down:

I’ll set two reminders: one for a day before and one for 5 minutes before.

The first reminder will remind me to keep the kids from napping the day of the conference to ensure that they go right to sleep, possibly even a little early.

Despite my best efforts to keep her awake, K-Mad will inevitably fall asleep on the couch around 4, while I’m cooking dinner and helping Lady J with her homework.  I’ll move K-Mad to her bed, but without a nap time diaper. She’ll wake up 20ish minutes later, soaked from head to toe, thus adding to the continuous laundry cycle, which is often more dependable than the life cycle of a frog you learn about in third grade.

Speaking of frogs, her blankie “Froggie” will also be soaked and in need of a bath with her bedding and clothes. This will cause an uproar of epic proportions… And another tantrum hours later when she realizes I forgot to move the load into the dryer and it’s bedtime. But the actual time won’t matter much because her 20 minute cat-nap was just long enough to fuel her well into the night…

Bud will stay awake for the long haul, but around 4:30, 4:45, 5:00, 5:01, and 5:06 I’ll remember why he still kinda needs a nap, and internally weigh the options of the nap/no-nap dilemma for the gazillionth time.  He’ll go to sleep early without much of a fight, but then wake minutes before the call as though it was just a nap, not actually bed time. He won’t require much: just a banana, a back rub, warm milk, and a spot in our bed, right between us, to watch TV while he enjoys his “midnight” snack.

Lady J will have gone to bed on time, but will still be awake, singing to her stuffed animals. Unfortunately, she and Bud share a room, so you know the rest…

All of these shannanigans will have caused me to be out of my room and to miss the second alarm reminding me of the call.

After several back-and-forths, ups-and-downs, and about another hour, Mr. TheKing and I will finally have all three kids in bed, hopefully sleeping.

I will then proceed to pack lunches, fold laundry, write in their journals, and possibly (probably) pour a glass of wine (vodka). I’ll retire to our bedroom and attempt to unwind, veg out, and finally, sleep.

Minutes after I am finally asleep, AT LEAST one child will show up in our bedroom, carrying their own pillow and blanket to be set up on our floor. I will help them get settled and glance at my phone realizing that I missed the call…

#lifewithkids #murphy #callingit