It Happens

That moment when you have just finished a lovely ladies afternoon with your youngest daughter and friends and you’re on your way to your older children’s school to wait for dismissal and the school nurse calls to see if you can pick up your middle child early from school, because there was an apparent accident in his classroom that he was not directly involved in; however, he did step in it, literally, and is in need of a change of clothes and shoes {and to be sanitized in a clean room decontamination area from head to toe just as a precaution.} So you ask if you can pick up your oldest daughter early too because you don’t have time to go home to get him showered, changed, and return before actual dismissal time, which of course is fine because the school recognizes what a crappy situation this is.

Minutes later, you arrive at school and carry your now sleeping child instead of waking her because she is shoeless from getting her first pedicure, it’s a cold, rainy, winter day, keeping her locked in the car is generally frowned upon in the parenting {and legal} world, she’s often quite unpleasant upon waking, and frankly, you have enough schtuff to deal with, so you keep it real and carry on. 

In the school office you begin to sign your children out but get stuck on the section that asks for a reason for the early dismissal and want to write in “it happens” but politely defer to “minor accident” to decrease the load of paperwork that may follow. You and the school office manager have a good laugh in apparent solidarity, I-can’t-evens,and what-the-hell-just-happened-ness, while your {now awake} youngest shows off her toes and you instruct your son to stop moving around and not to touch ANYTHING, especially with his shoes which is a problem because, as he points out, he can’t fly, all the while forgetting that his CLEAN rain boots are in his book bag…

You walk to the car where you open the back of your SUV to put him in and remove his shoes with a plastic bag. As he begins to climb over the back seat you notice that he had clearly sat on his feet before realizing his shoes were covered in it so you remove his pants and place them in the plastic bag and wonder what the parent parked behind you must be thinking as your son climbs pant-less into his seat, but you don’t really care all that much, and you head home for a glass of wine (or 2) because, on days like today, it doesn’t much matter that it’s not 5 o’clock anywhere…😳💩



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