The scene: Malt Shoppe
Young server to Max: Excuse me sir, but you need to remove your hat when inside this establishment.
Max, after thinking about it: Mom? Why do I need to take off my hat but Jordyn and Kennedy don’t?
Me: That’s a great question! It has to do with some very old school rules on etiquette and manners. Men had to remove their hats when entering a building and women didn’t. I’m honestly not sure why or when it originated. We should look it up.
Max: Well I don’t think it’s fair.
Me: I honestly don’t disagree with you. In fact, when I was in high school, my teacher made a guy in my class remove his hat but not me. They got into an argument over fairness and he wound up getting a detention for arguing with the teacher. I felt horrible even though it wasn’t my fault.
Max: Yeah. But you probably should’ve taken off your hat too. But that still doesn’t make it fair or change the rule.
Kennedy: Well, ya know, boys can go topless at the pool and girls can’t do that so that’s not really fair.
Jordyn: But would you really want to be topless?
Kennedy: No. I don’t want anyone to see my nickles, but why is it ok if boys show theirs?
Max: Maybe it’s because boys don’t make milk in their breasts.
Jordyn: True. True. But usually only moms with babies make milk. Like our mom stopped making baby milk because we don’t need it anymore.
Max: Good point. So why do boys even have nipples?
Kennedy: Maybe it’s just for decoration.
Jordyn: Maybe it’s so they look more like women.
Max: Maybe the next level male people won’t even have them.
Jordyn: Mom, is that possible with evolution?
Server, approaching carefully: Um, can I get you anything else?
Me: An expert in history and evolution?