This may be TMI for some readers, but a few friends have recently questioned how to answer questions like those in the following conversation that recently happened.  Much as I’d like to, it’s nothing to shy away from or be embarrassed about when talking to your littles.  I have always maintained that honesty is the best policy when answering life’s (not so) little questions and to keep your answers appropriately worded and detailed for your child’s comprehension. That being said, it doesn’t make some parenting moments any less awkward…

There’s a knock on the bathroom door*

Me: Hold on, do not come in. I’d appreciate some privacy, please.

Bud, completely ignoring me and opening the door anyway: Mom?

Me, trying to quickly cover up: Bud, I asked for privacy. It’s not polite to walk in on anyone in the bathroom. What do you need?

Bud, looking (there) curiously: I know. I foeget. Give me a sec to wemembuh.

I wash my hands.

Bud: Uuuuh, Mommy? What was that stwing hanging down?

My inner momologue: Crap! Crappity-crap-crap-crap! Fuckit… Let’s do this people! It’s on and it’s go time! Here we go…

Lady J enters the bathroom.

Me, with 2 littles now intently watching for my reaction and waiting in curiosity: It’s called a tampon.

Lady J: What’s it for?

Me: It’s for when I get my period.

Bud: What’s a pewiod?

Me: Well, you know how mommies have eggs inside? When the egg isn’t going to grow into a baby, it has to come out.

J: So it comes out of your vagina?

Me: Yes. And the tampon helps catch it.

Bud: So it doesn’t make a mess?

Me: Exactly.

J: Will I get my period?

Me: Not for a few more years. Probably when you’re a teenager. Soooo, cereal for breakfast?

J: Good call on the cereal, Mom. I do NOT want eggs today… Well, maybe an omlet…

Tune in again in 28-35 days when we discuss why mommy’s egg didn’t turn into a baby…

#soTHAThappened #awkwardparentingmoments #ijustwanttopeealone #truth

*In my defense, this pariculiar door does not lock, or it would have been…