If you are uncomfortable taking about human anatomy, as they come up in honest, albeit awkward, conversations with children, or are possibly a visual person, you should stop reading now. If you want a chuckle, and understand that this is an educational post, please proceed…
K-Mad, while dressing herself: My tushy is decowated! See? It has a decawation inside hewe!
She attempts to show me.
Me: please don’t show me your tushy unless you think there’s a problem. However, that’s not a decoration. That’s your anus.
K, looking horrified: I do NOT have a pwanet in my butt!
Me: No, not Uranus. Anus. It’s where your poop comes out.
K: Oh, so it’s not a flowa?
Me: No. Not even a little.
K: So it’s cawed a wenis? Dat whymes wif penis!
Me: No it’s called your anus.
K, clarifying: But not the pwanet.
Me: Correct. Not the planet.
K: But wait! I fought my poop comes out hewe. (Points to her vagina.)
Me: No, that’s your vagina.
K: So what comes out of dis hole?
K: Then whewe does the pee come out?
Me: A smaller hole above your vagina called a eurethra.
K, looking confused: Wait, how do the babies get in your pachina?
Me: I have a book about that. We’ll have to read it when we get home.
K: Ok, Mommy. So my butt’s not decowated?
K: Ok. But if it was, my poop would be a wot pwettia!
Me: It sure would! Now please, go wash your hands…