Awkward Convos with Kids: Condominiums & Condoms

Max: Where are we going next week?

K-Mad: Bubbe and Zayde’s beach house.

M: It’s not a house. It’s an apartment.

Me: It’s a condominium.

K: What’s the difference?

Me: You rent an apartment. You own a condominium.

K: So Bubbe & Zayde own their condom?

Me: Condominium, not condom.

K: Condom is short for condominium. Like totes amaze is totally amazing.

M: Nuh-uh, Kennedy. They’re “totes”completely different words & meanings.

Me: Totally. Anyway, condo is short for condominium.

K: So then what’s a condom?

M: Here we go again…

Me: It’s a cover for a penis to catch the sperm and other fluids that come out with it.

K: Why would anyone want to catch sperm?

Me: To prevent them from fertilizing an egg or to prevent any possible viruses from spreading to anyone else.

K: And this is after the eruption thing? You know, the B-O-N-E-R.

Me: Yes. The boner is called an erection. The eruption is called ejaculation.

M: Hold up. What other fluids? Like pee? Because it’s the same hole you know.

K: Eeeeewwwww!!!!! That’s disgusting!!!!

Me: It is the same hole. The urethra. But you can’t ejaculate sperm and urine at the same time.

K: Well that’s a relief!

M: Not if you have to pee, it isn’t!

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