Max: Where are we going next week?
K-Mad: Bubbe and Zayde’s beach house.
M: It’s not a house. It’s an apartment.
Me: It’s a condominium.
K: What’s the difference?
Me: You rent an apartment. You own a condominium.
K: So Bubbe & Zayde own their condom?
Me: Condominium, not condom.
K: Condom is short for condominium. Like totes amaze is totally amazing.
M: Nuh-uh, Kennedy. They’re “totes”completely different words & meanings.
Me: Totally. Anyway, condo is short for condominium.
K: So then what’s a condom?
M: Here we go again…
Me: It’s a cover for a penis to catch the sperm and other fluids that come out with it.
K: Why would anyone want to catch sperm?
Me: To prevent them from fertilizing an egg or to prevent any possible viruses from spreading to anyone else.
K: And this is after the eruption thing? You know, the B-O-N-E-R.
Me: Yes. The boner is called an erection. The eruption is called ejaculation.
M: Hold up. What other fluids? Like pee? Because it’s the same hole you know.
K: Eeeeewwwww!!!!! That’s disgusting!!!!
Me: It is the same hole. The urethra. But you can’t ejaculate sperm and urine at the same time.
K: Well that’s a relief!
M: Not if you have to pee, it isn’t!