The following conversation is a natural follow-up to a conversation that began this past spring, when Lady J’s first grade class hatched chicks and learned about fertilized/unfertilized eggs. It then continued over the summer when the children learned of menstruation due to a bathroom door that doesn’t lock and an unrealistic expectation of parental privacy. This is the third installment and will undoubtedly NOT be the last: Continue reading
Tag Archives: so that happened
CWK #247365711: An Intro to Womanhood
This may be TMI for some readers, but a few friends have recently questioned how to answer questions like those in the following conversation that recently happened. Much as I’d like to, it’s nothing to shy away from or be embarrassed about when talking to your littles. I have always maintained that honesty is the best policy when answering life’s (not so) little questions and to keep your answers appropriately worded and detailed for your child’s comprehension. That being said, it doesn’t make some parenting moments any less awkward… Continue reading
CWK #247365711: Talk to the Dad
So I’m sleeping, as many often do at 5am, and Bud comes in to our room to whisper, “Mom, I need a band-aid. I cut my penis.”
Most moms would probably throw the covers off and dart to an immediate “deer in headlights” stance trying to gather her wits while asking a bazillion questions, but I was caught in that middle time of dream land and life so his statement replayed in my head in that in between space for another hour or so while I sleepily asked if his penis was bleeding, which it was not, so I told him to go potty, get dressed, and make his bed. I would look at it when I woke up.
An hour later, he was dressed, I was awake, and we both seemed to forget about the whole (bizzarre) incident…until that night at bath time:
Bud: Mom, this is whewe I cut my penis. Look!
Me, wide eyed and having a horrific flashback in realization that it was not, in fact, a dream: Ooooohhhh, right! I see… It doesn’t look cut.
Bud: Yes it is. Look! (he shows me again.)
Me: Bud, that’s not a cut. thats where your urine comes out.
Bud: You mean my pee-pee? I know that! Look next to it!
Me, not seeing anything out of the ordinary: I’m going to call Daddy in. He might have more experience with this…Honey! (you don’t really think I call him “Mr. TheKing” for real, do you?) Can you come in here? Bud has something to show you!
Mr. TheKing enters the bathroom and I fill him in on the convo, so far.
MTK, looking horrified: Bud, how did this happen?
Bud: Well, my penis was cold so I twied to wawm it up.
MTK: On what?
Bud: My nightlight lightbulb.
MTK turns white as a ghost and proceeds: We NEVER touch lightbulbs. They get very hot. That was very dangerous.
Bud: I know that now, Daddy. I think I’m ok now. See?
Me: Out of curiosity, why was your penis cold?
Bud: Because I took off my pajamas, of couwse!
Me: Bud, that’s why you’re supposed to get dressed when you wake up.
Bud: Oh! Wight! Well now I know that’s a weally good idea. I won’t fo-get that tomowwow!
#WhatTheWhat?!?!?!?!
#LessonLearned??????
#UnexpectedConvosWithKids
#NeverDull
#SoThatHappened…
Convos With Kids #247365711: Spelling
September 2014
Lady J is starting to spell out her responses, as is expected, as she learns to read more and is used to hearing adults spell out words. Bud is trying to follow suit, as is expected from a younger sibling….
…Except Bud doesn’t have a clue about the correlation between phonics and letters yet and seems to limit his requests to using four letters at a time. His attempts are generally innocent and difficult to decipher: Mommy? Can I have k-b-z-y? (Translation: goldfish.)
However, this morning, while in the waiting room at the dentist’s office, he loudly asked if he could play with that d-o-n-g while he had one hand in his pocket and the other pointed in the general direction of the other people in room…
…There are no words for the obvious embarrassment that the 2 young gentlemen who shared the tiny space with us felt, as one’s face flushed bright red, and the other covered his face in his hands and stifled a guffaw.
Fortunately, the door to the back opened and the dental hygienist called on us to follow her, or it may have been more #awkward.
#soTHAThappened #boysandtheirtoys #kidssaythedarnedestthings
(After his checkup was complete and we were exiting, I discovered that Bud was referring to the “treasure chest” for post-visit-prizes.)
Shannanigans365 