Bud: Mom, can you like, save da challah to make Fwench Toast in da mowning?
Me: I’m not sure we have all of the ingredients.
Bud: That’s ok. You can dust make Spanish Toast.
#TrueStory #HowDoesHeKnow?
Tag Archives: convos with kids
CWKs #247365711: Loop Holes
Beach House TV Rule:
No TV while the sun is OUT.
This rule, new for this year, has surprisingly been working remarkably well, 3 days in…until this morning:
Bud: Uuuuuh, Mommy? Is it supposed to wain today?
Me: No, its supposed to be a beautiful day.
Lady J, looking at Bud as though theres a plot afoot: How ’bout tomorrow?
Me: There’s a chance of thunder storms tomorrow.
Bud, unabashedly smirking just like Mr. TheKing: Dat is weally gweat news. Fo weal, weally gweat…
Me: Why?
Lady J, smiling her devilish grin: Because, your rule is that there’s no TV while the sun is OUT. If it rains, the sun won’t be OUT from behind the clouds so we can watch TV!
They high-five each other in celebratory solidarity, knowing they uncovered a massive loop hole in my rule…
Revised TV rule:
No TV while the sun is UP. This new rule comes complete with a science lesson on both the Earth’s orbit around the sun, cloudy weather, and a math lesson on TIME.
#wordsmatter
Oh Sh*#! 8.7.14
While watching The Goonies as I cook dinner, Lady J enters the kitchen and whispers, “Mom, what does shit mean? Because Chunk says it a lot in the movie. Like, a lot, and I just don’t know what it means.”
All I can think is, “Oh SH*#! This is the beginning of the end.”
From her tone I can tell she knows it’s not an appropriate word, and my initial thought is to respond harshly with the standard, “We DO NOT use that word. It is a bad word and I don’t EVER want to hear you say it. Understand?”
But a flash from my own childhood played in my head. I was standing at our front door, maybe around 8 years old. I asked what the word Hell meant. It was an honest question that I really didn’t know the answer to. I have no idea where I had heard it and I had no idea that it was an inappropriate word to use. So I asked. The reaction I got was less than explanatory, though I never said it again in front of my parents, as a child.
So I take a step back and answer her with honesty, “It means poop. But it’s not a nice word and you are not allowed to say it. It’s rude.”
“Is it like ‘hate’ and ‘stupid’?” She questions with translucent innocence.
“Yes,” I reply.
“Okay. Then I won’t say it. But Mommy? Chunk says it a awfully lot of times when bad things happen that are also silly. It’s kinda funny. He kinda says it like when you say ‘oh dear’ or ‘oh my goodness,'” she chuckles knowing she nailed the context usage.
“Oh poop,” I mutter, “Here we go.”
She exits the kitchen quietly giggling, “Oh poop…”
#igotplayed
Convos With Kids #247365711: Spelling
September 2014
Lady J is starting to spell out her responses, as is expected, as she learns to read more and is used to hearing adults spell out words. Bud is trying to follow suit, as is expected from a younger sibling….
…Except Bud doesn’t have a clue about the correlation between phonics and letters yet and seems to limit his requests to using four letters at a time. His attempts are generally innocent and difficult to decipher: Mommy? Can I have k-b-z-y? (Translation: goldfish.)
However, this morning, while in the waiting room at the dentist’s office, he loudly asked if he could play with that d-o-n-g while he had one hand in his pocket and the other pointed in the general direction of the other people in room…
…There are no words for the obvious embarrassment that the 2 young gentlemen who shared the tiny space with us felt, as one’s face flushed bright red, and the other covered his face in his hands and stifled a guffaw.
Fortunately, the door to the back opened and the dental hygienist called on us to follow her, or it may have been more #awkward.
#soTHAThappened #boysandtheirtoys #kidssaythedarnedestthings
(After his checkup was complete and we were exiting, I discovered that Bud was referring to the “treasure chest” for post-visit-prizes.)
Fawts Awe Awways Funny
K-Mad is happily reading (playing with) the book “Farts in the Wild” while Lady J & Bud are busy cleaning up and 
putting toys away.
Bud, clearly recognizing that she is not doing her fair share of the work, walks up to her and sternly says, “K-Mad, stop futzin’ awound. It’s time to cwean up!”
He then turns to me and starts hysterically laughing, “Ah-hahahaha!!!! Get it, Mom? See’s futzin’ awound cause see’s weading the FAWT book! Hahahaha! I finally told a joke with a good punch wine! YES! Now DAT was funny!” He saunters away still giggling, amused and full of pride… #fartsarefunny
{Meanwhile, down the hall, Lady J is busy telling Grandma the “Interrupting Fart knock-knock joke” Grandma was not nearly as amused by such shannanigans…}
The Creepy Elf on the Shelf: 12.5.14
Lady J: Mom, did you know that Happy is in the bathroom?
Me: What? Why would he be in the bathroom?
J: I don’t know but don’t move him. I don’t want him to lose his magic…. But Mom? Maybe cover his eyes with toilet paper bc he’s kinda creepin’ me out in there. I mean, do you think he’s watching? Ew…
#WhenGoodElvesGoBad
(This is what happens when your MIL panics because we both forgot to move the Elf…again…and she didn’t want the kids to find him in the same place….again…#NiceTryGrandma)
Somewhere Over the Rainbow: 12.2.14
Our local community center has a Christmas tree in its lobby that the kids are naturally curious about and enamored with. They ventured over to get a close up / hands on look and asked what all the tags were for.
On the tree are tags with names of elderly folks who need or want items for Christmas. The program is called Elves for the Elderly and you pick a tag and get the item/s on the back for the person.
Bud and K-Mad wanted to pick a tag from the Christmas tree at community center for the program Elves for the Elderly. They asked me to read the names so they could decide who to get a gift for. After reading about 25 names, they both settled on Dorothy for the following reasons:
Bud: Da Wizawd of Oz was made a wong time ago so Dowothy is pwobabwy weawy owd and can’t get huh own Chwistmas pwesents.
K-Mad: Actshuwy, see needs somefing to get huh back ova da wainbow
Bud: Yeah, but see aweady came back wif huh shoes. Now we dust need ta send da pwesent fwom Pennsywvania ta Kansas, I fink.
K-Mad was also very concerned that Elphaba didn’t have a tag but Bud reassured her that she can get her own gifts because she can do magic…
Needlesstosay, my little munchkins are doing their small part to take good care of Dorothy this year and spread the magic and love around.
#GivingTuesday #Wicked-ly thoughtful #SomewhereOverTheRainbow
Shannanigans365 