Me: Ok. So tell me something you learned today.
J: We’re learning about physics in science.
Me: Cool! Can you explain it?
J: It’s all about motion like what goes up must come down and objects in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an opposite force.
Me: Right. Like your seatbelt.
J: Or a windshield.
K: Well that’s morbid.
Max: I learned that rotation of mass plus friction equals curve.
J: Like a curve ball?
Max: Yes. In theory.
K-Mad: What’s a boner?
Max: Not anything appropriate to discuss at the dinner table.
Me: I’ll explain it, but I’m just curious, where did you hear that?
K: Some of my friends asked if I knew what it was.
J: This is cringy.
Me: Ok. We’ll discuss those details later.
K: So do you know what it is?
Max: I do.
Me: So what is it?
Max: It’s when a boy has an erection.
K: I still don’t know what that means.
J: It means hard.
K: What’s hard?
Me: A penis.
K: Why would a penis be hard?
J: May I be excused?
Me: Are you done eating?
J: I lost my appetite.
Max: I wonder why.
K: That’s what I want to know. Why?
Me: There are lots of reasons but the main science reason is so the penis can enter the vagina for reproduction.
K: And it needs an eruption?
Max: An erection.
J: The eruption comes later.
K: I’m really sorry I asked.
J: We all are, K-Mad.
Max: Soooo I’m just gonna clear the table and pretend we only discussed physics and not biology tonight at dinner.
J: We all are, Max. We all are.